Readers

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now but I never knew where I would start. Since I’ve started this blog, all I wanted to do was to be able to give some women a voice and to make people feel like they’re not alone (even if there was only just 1 single reader). It’s been really difficult to write all of my blogs as I have to dig deep and see where my thoughts are. I wanted this to be as real as possible, the good and the ugly. As much as I desire my life to be a walk in the park… it’s not. Dealing with Endometriosis can really mess up your mind in so many ways if you don’t know how to deal with it. But I mean I’m sure that goes for all other illnesses too.

From receiving so many lovely feedback via comments to being contacted by some readers sharing their stories it’s pretty incredible. I genuinely feel honoured that some of you feel like you could share your stories with me (or just seeking for an advice). I hope you all know that doesn’t matter what struggle each person have to go through, you are stronger than you think. Overcome that obstacle and take control of your life. I promise you that when you come out the other side you’ll feel so much more happier and stronger knowing that you’ve stood against something difficult that was put on your path.

Have a lovely weekend everyone 🙂

As always… please feel free to contact me for advice or just to talk.

Slowly learning…

For each of us “life” has always been a long-term lesson. This depends on who you are as a person and how fast you learn from every decision you’ve made. Some people feel like they’re in a competition with others and for some they feel like they’re in a competition with themselves. But bare in mind, I am aware that everyone is entitled to their own opinions… so you might agree or disagree with this post.

I don’t know what my feelings are at the moment but for sure a lot has been happening and my thoughts are all over the place. I’ve recently started a new job and this is my third week now. Dealing with Endometriosis has always been difficult but for a few weeks it has been quite easy and I think my job has a huge role in this. I’ve been able to eat/sleep more regularly and I think that this has put me in a positive head space. From this, I feel mentally and physically better giving me the ability to live my life as normal again.

I think what we need to understand as a human… is that we need to put ourselves in a place or around people who are positive because negative thoughts will only put you in an uncomfortable position. Take me for example, when I was in pain not sleeping/eating I just felt like I couldn’t function and my life was basically over (I know that sounds dramatic right). This is when you need to tell yourself only you can make that change because this won’t just come to you. I had to change what was causing me to feel negative and everything just works out.

Going back to what I said at the beginning… I think that we are our own competition and we all do things in our own pace. Understand that everything you do should be what’s best for you and your loved ones. I would say listen to your heart but I think that’s my biggest problem, my feelings would take control over me and I become fragile and an emotional wreck. So I would say use your head because we all know what’s right and wrong and follow that instead… they tend to make better decisions than your heart and not leaving you feeling vulnerable. Believe that you deserve the life you desire to live and continue to grow from there. I hope this will some how encourage everyone to give themselves more credit because that’s the least you deserve and know that nothing is permanent unless you allow it to be.

P x

Something new and different…

You would think having 3 weeks off work would just be perfect, but on this occasion is not the case. This pain has been with me everyday/night and it’s getting harder and harder to cope. I physically feel so unhealthy… I always feel like I’m going to be sick it’s horrible. I took some time off blogging because I thought I needed to really focus on my health and really didn’t want to make this a diary.

Besides that… a few things has happened:
1. I started my new job today and it seems really chilled and stressed free. Instead of shifts work it’s more like a set pattern which is great. I’ve been eating more regularly and was able to catch up on my sleeps. With this job is more office based.. from standing all day to sitting by my desk really helps the pain.
2. My partner and I have finally booked our first holiday together which is something I am really excited about. It’s only going to be a long weekend but when I come back I’ll be all relaxed and ready for my surgery. I am really scared about this whole surgery thing but I hope the holiday should keep me calm.

I’m sure you must think what’s my point… well I’m about to get to it. Today I had to go back to my old work place and return my uniform. I felt bad for leaving my job and didn’t feel too comfortable to face the people that are still there. I didn’t want people to accuse me of lying about why I’ve been off work etc. If I’m fully honest, it’s kind of sad how they seem to think I’m lying about what’s going on with me having that I provided them letters from the hospital and everything. I went there anyway and I was not wrong. I find myself beginning to explain why each day I haven’t been able to come in for work and then I thought what’s the point..

  • You know what’s wrong with yourself so why bother giving anyone any sort of explanation when you don’t have to.
  • Your family and your partner are the ones that cares for you so other people’s opinion does not matter.
  • Knowing that the decision you’ve made helps you to improve your health, be proud of the fact that you’ve chose to do this.

Please do not be afraid to be selfish because like I said some people will not believe you. It’s only you that will be able to do what’s best for yourself.

Need an advice/talk please contact me.

How I feel…

Something I’ve learnt recently and I think many women (Or men) can relate to this post. Some of us might suffer from mood swings and some just might not be able to control their emotions in that current moment. I would like to think that this behaviour is normal/acceptable because us human are designed to have these emotions but really… it’s not.

We all have reasons for why we act certain ways whether is angry because we’ve had a bad day at work, upset because something has happened to us in our personal life’s or worrying about something that we totally have no control over. In many occasions women seems to enjoy using the “hormone” excuse and in some cases it is true (In this case gentlemen, do not test your lady’s patience). Normally mood swings go from you being the happiest person in the world to the most miserable person in the world within a minute. Personally for me it comes from stress and overthinking things all the time and as soon as I’m in that zone I feel like there’s no getting out. I seem to really focus on that bad energy and this might be one of the main reasons why I seem to get ill easily and it seems to make it harder for me to deal with Endometriosis.

It’s important for us to take control of our actions instead of blaming others around us or even take it out on them sometimes. I would like to think my partner is the strongest person I’ve ever met and he’s very strong minded that’s why he’s able to put up with so much BS I’ve thrown his way. It doesn’t take a lot for us to just take a minute and breathe. Think before we speak, clear our minds and then maybe return to whatever conversation you were having. Stress is not good for your health or making a rational decision in that precise moment. You will be able to deal with any obstacles when you have a straight head. This really is just common sense but is something that gets overlooked ever so often. So ladies and gentlemen it’s all good and well to use our heart and let that feelings out but sometimes we have to use our mind for a better outcome.

Feelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place. – Judith Wright

P x

Was it the right decision?

Went back to work for the first time since I’ve been off for the past two weeks. It was strange… I mean, the way people were acting around me was so uncomfortable. My current job is shift work and at first the pain was not too bad so I didn’t have any issue with my hours etc. But then it got worse. Every time when there’s pain in my stomach there was tears on my face. It was so hard because I didn’t want to cause my work any issues but at this point I’ve pushed my body to the point where I just couldn’t anymore. This has then caused me a lot of stress. I was not eating very much or getting enough sleep (So it made me feel ill and the pain got even worse).

My family and my partner have told me time and time again to do what’s best for “me/my body” and not what’s best for my work. At the end of the day what’s the point of working your health away when there’s no health to enjoy what you’ve worked for. Finally at the end, I actually listened and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I have found a job role that’s more suitable for me, I feel a lot more relaxed and focusing on my health more.

Moral of the story is please do not feel bad for putting “you/your health” first. Because worrying about how others would feel, how work will react and not being able to work will only stress you out. As stupid as this sentence sounds; you only live once. To live and being able to enjoy your life the way that makes you happy is what’s important.

Please see links below or email me if you need to talk or ask for any advice.

Work, Surgery and thoughts.

With Endometriosis you can never tell when the pain comes and goes, everyday morning when you wake up you can only hope that it’s not there. The past two weeks I’ve been off work because of the pain and it still hasn’t gone away. I’m returning back to work tomorrow and sometimes you just need to get on with your life and not let things affect you so much (With that being said please do not take this as an advice… as this was based on my own decision and really I’m just bored of staying in bed all the time).

GOOD NEWS! we finally have a surgery date… but to be honest I’m not sure whether I’m happy or scared because I’ve never had a surgery before. Putting that aside, I feel like it probably is the best option for my body and this might help to take the pain away for a while so I just have to man up and do what’s necessary.

For women who are dealing with Endometriosis, I would like to encourage you to not rely on the pain to disappear because we all know that’s not how it works. Please speak to other women who are dealing with Endometriosis to seek for advice or see specialists if you need to because you do not want this to get any worse.

For any support/advice; see the links below or email me directly.

P x

Complicated and confused.

Another day of abdomen pain from Endometriosis. It has been hurting me none stop for the past 2 weeks. Every time I feel like I’m getting better and the next day the pain comes back again. During the night, sleeping isn’t much of an option when the pain doesn’t allow you to.

This honestly feels like I’ve been locked in prison. Not given the freedom that everyone else has. I mean, the only thing that still makes me feel like a normal human being is the love of my life. No matter how strong you want to be your body literally does not allow you to fulfil your normal life routine. But as cliche as this sounds… stay strong and stay positive because that day when you finally feel like things are getting back to normal again it’ll feel so rewarding knowing that you have dealt with something this difficult.

As mentioned from my previous post “support” is important. This is one of the most important element in staying strong/positive.

(If you need to talk or need an advice please feel free to email me or see my homepage for Endometriosis Team support)

Your support.

It’s been a hard couple of weeks for me recently… I’ve been in bed all day everyday! I cannot drive because I am constantly in pain, can hardly eat, can hardly sleep and everything just does not feel right. There’s this website I joined recently and is for women who has Endometriosis. I cannot believe the things that I see on there sometimes they’re insane! Some people feel bad for telling their work that they’re in pain, others their partners leave them and they feel lonely and depressed and for some people their family thinks that they are being dramatic. For the people that are going through this… it is important that you use your voice. If you feel like your family and friends don’t understand what you are going through then maybe try to educate them on this topic.

What works “for me” is I sat down with my family/partner and read some articles with them online (Also watched a video on YouTube). That way they will know more about this condition and are aware of the symptoms. I think it is important to feel like you have the support from the people around you and for me it really helped me cope with my stress.

Please contact me for links to these articles/videos.

P x

What how and why?

To some people “Endometriosis” is just a long name. When I first saw it myself I was like “Right great whatever on earth this is”.

Well Endometriosis is where the tissues are formed like the lining of the womb, this can be found in many different places.. and for me is my ovary. There are so many different symptoms and believe me the list goes on. I’ve taken so many different medications to help me with the pain from Paracetamol to morphine and nothing helps. I constantly feel like I’m a walking medicine. I mean you can literally eat me and will be cure from your headache. I think at some point even my partner thought I was an addict.

I’m sure some of you women can relate and know exactly what I am going through. But to some of you that don’t.. well let’s just say you’re lucky that you have a healthy body. I want some of you that don’t know much about this to be aware of this condition because in a severe case of Endometriosis it can prevent you from being able to conceive.

You might notice at some point my posts are at odd times of the day and that’s because of the pain I just cannot sleep at all. Anyway Netflix will do the trick for now just started watching #TheOA I hope this puts me to sleep.

For more information or support please see the links on my homepage.

The start.

First, I want to just start by saying I’m not a professional blogger. So please do not expect anything fancy because this is not what this blog will be.

I simply wanted to share my experience dealing with Endometriosis and be able to have a voice for other women around the world who are dealing with this too. I know some of us feel like nobody understands what we are going through and honestly I am sure they don’t… because personally I don’t either. I have recently joined a group for women who has Endometriosis online. Seeing many women posting stuff about their days and how they are dealing with it is horrible. For me, I sometimes feel like no matter who I talk to.. no matter how much I explain to them what Endometriosis is they still don’t get it.

Your probably thinking what’s your point.. well I wanted to share my experience so many other women could feel like they are not alone and someone do understand what they’re going though. I want to be able to help and maybe give an advice to someone who needs it… please understand it is just me and my experience I am not an expert.

Hoping to see you for my next post!
P x