Personally, I don’t really like this time of the year. Is the worst time for me and I mean this financially and emotionally. We all know that December is all about that time of the year where everyone is finishing work and it’s almost Christmas.
I’ve never been too into Christmas, this could be because I’ve never really celebrated that growing up in Thailand. Now living in England is different. Everyone is shopping rushing around buying gifts. I really do think Christmas is a waste of money, I mean it should be more about spending time with your love ones than what shall we get someone as a gift. But this isn’t the main reason why I hate this time of the year.
So we have Christmas Eve 24th December. For my brother and I is our fathers birthday. He sadly passed away when I was 14 years old. He was such an amazing father and he was also our best friend. He was always there for us and I can’t think of a time where he wasn’t. Every year this month, the closer we get to his birthday I feel really down. I hate it because I genuinely can’t control my emotions and I think that this is my biggest weakness.
I can’t stop thinking if he can see us, is he proud of us and are we growing into the adult he raised us to be? I would like to think he’s watching over us mainly is because I wasn’t around when he passed and I never really got the chance to say goodbye. So just feeling like he’s there helps me deal with this better because of course I miss him. Every year I keep thinking maybe it’ll get easier but honestly it doesn’t. Not a day goes by I don’t miss him and it hurts as much as it always has been.
From this I just want to say for anyone out there that has lost someone who’s close to their heart, I understand and stay strong. I know that it hurts and it can be really painful, just know that they are always with you through all of your journeys.
Daddy, I love you always. #rip