Recently I’ve been feeling very emotional and my head was just all over the place. Blogging just seemed hard because I didn’t know how to put words together. Finally a month later… I’m starting to feel like myself again. Last month so many things had happened with family, friends, work, relationship and Endometriosis. I felt like I had to keep everything to myself because I didn’t want to push people around me away with my problems. Didn’t help at all… I ended up doing the opposite. I was moody, angry and upset all the time. I should have known better than to keep everything inside. I had a holiday planned for me and my partner and it was our first ever holiday. It was very exciting but I shall talk about it on my next blog. The only thing I constantly thought about was my Endometriosis. We finally had a surgery date and day by day I was getting more and more nervous. I’ve never had a surgery before so this was scary to me. I do not like the hospital and especially needles so I do whatever I can to stay away from it all. Everyone keeps telling me you’ll be fine, everything will be okay, don’t be nervous but I never listened. All I can think about was my stomach will have a hole and there will be blood and it’ll be gross like every horror movies I’ve seen.
On the day of the surgery, I arrived at the hospital at 7am. I was so tired and didn’t really sleep the night before. My partner was right outside waiting for me and we didn’t know how long this was going to take. I met with my gynaecologist and she explained to me step by step on what we’re going to do when I enter the theatre room etc. Afterwards the nurse came and the surgery went ahead. I was asleep the whole time and I thought this was going to be the hardest part and again I was wrong. The surgery was the easiest part… I woke up and was informed your surgery was successful and I was so confused because I didn’t know when I even fell asleep. I was told you’ll need to rest for 2 weeks to be able to work again. I was in pain but it was bearable because of the anaesthetic and I was able to leave the hospital at 2pm. The next day, I felt so much pain in my stomach like never before, my insides were burning and constantly throbbing. I couldn’t move, lay down, sit up or eat.
A week later, slowly one day at a time I can feel that my stomach is getting better. As painful as it was… this was absolutely worth it. I received the best news from my gynaecologist that “I will be able to have a baby” (which is everything to me). Honestly I don’t think I could have done all of this without my partner. He’s been by my side through it all… the late night hospital visits, the tears, the mood swings you name it. Thank you to my family for everything and also my boss for being so supportive and understanding.
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